Category Archives: Resilience

Family Traditions. ReNEW YOU Red Healing Heartache In Family Lines Header with URLs

Traditions That Help, Rather Than Hurt, Families

Traditions and personal freedom

Traditions directly link to personal freedom. It would be wise to make choices connected to our traditions, that will help, and not hurt, ourselves and our families.  Freedom from destructive, dead-end generational patterns and beliefs makes room for healthy, productive, life-changing progress.  The way is not always easy, but it IS possible.

A word about tradition

Maybe you remember the movie Fiddler on the Roof.
An online film synopsis states that the movie “tells the life-affirming story of Tevye, a poor milkman [with five daughters] whose love, pride and faith help him face the oppression of turn-of-the century czarist Russia.  Set in 1905, their lives seemed as precarious as ‘a fiddler on the roof.”

In these memorable lines from the movie, Tevye says,

 “A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask, why do we stay up here if it’s so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in a word—tradition!

Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many, many years. Here in Anatevka we have traditions for everything—how to eat, how to sleep, how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered and always wear a little prayer shawl. This shows our constant devotion to God. You may ask, how did this tradition start? I’ll tell you—I don’t know! But it’s a tradition. Because of our traditions, everyone knows who he is and what God expects him to do.”

Help, don’t hurt

Because traditions become such an inherent part of us and they are followed and accepted, often without thinking about it, it may be hard to evaluate between their constructive or destructive impact in our lives.  They’re simply familiar!  We want to help and not hurt ourselves and others, therefore, it’s incumbent upon each of us to find ways to cherish and value positive traditions from our ethnic, cultural, or national heritages.  Yet, we must be mindful of those that tear down and destroy self-worth and relationships and find the courage and tenacity to create more positive results instead. This is what truly benefits humanity.  After all, isn’t it right that each generation improve and build better, brighter tomorrows as they stand on the shoulders of those who came before them?  Usually, that’s what our ancestors would want so that their sacrifices would not have been in vain.

Some traditions that tear down rather than build up individuals and families are:

  • Any tradition in which control or dominion is exerted one against another individual or group
  • Traditions that breed addiction
  • Anything based on the power of force
  • Looking down on others due one’s so-called station in life, their ethnicity or feelings of superiority
  • Anything that breeds conflict one person or one group against another
  • Traditions that lead to prejudice, jealousy, hatred, lack of forgiveness, greed, and so forth
  • Traditions that foster harsh words and criticisms, contentions, bickering and sarcasm

In our busy world, some of our positive traditions are part of activities where we can spend meaningful, healthy, uplifting time with our family members.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf puts it nicely when he says, “If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it.” “Let us resolve to cherish those we love by spending meaningful time with them, doing things together and cultivating treasured memories.”

Elevate your traditions

Making a break from the chains of false or destructive traditions can be hard. There can be naysayers and those who criticize or persecute. Some friends or family members may turn away or argue that you’re wrong—possibly causing self-doubts or fears.  But, I believe, that deep within us there is an inner knowing of what is ours to do, and if elevating a tradition for ourselves and future generations is part of our life’s mission, then we will find he wherewithal to stay the course.

When the effort to change traditions becomes hard, remember that at birth, your spirit came from the presence of God—as the poet Wordsworth says, “trailing clouds of glory”.  So, your ultimate Heritage of Wholeness comes from you being HIS son or HIS daughter. Therefore, the wisest course of action is to remain loyal to traditions that accurately reflect His teachings.  Those decisions will bring you true happiness and the greatest inner peace.

After all, we want to find ways to preserve our past without compromising our present.  Sometimes that takes a change at the level of tradition, and breaking destructive traditions can seem like you are no longer loyal to the family—which can be extremely painful.  Sometimes breaking those patterns can feel like we’re abandoning the family rather than improving the family for the sake of the living as well as those yet to come into your family line. This too, must be seen in the light of truth, or the fear of abandonment can shut you down.

YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker!

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.

Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families.  We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships.  This excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class.  Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart.

CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.

References:
[“Fiddler on the Roof,” in Great Musicals of the American Theatre, ed. Stanley Richards, vol. 1 (Radnor, Pennsylvania: Chilton Book Company, 1973), p. 393]

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

emotional vitality tip of the day on white tile-like background

Are you angry, afraid or ashamed?

Are you sometimes downright angry, afraid or ashamed?

Try this ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip of the Day.

Write in a journal to give your feelings a voice.  There is no need to deny or repress what you truly feel when you write it on paper or type it on a computer.

Once expressed use the JOURNALriffic Method—the 4 Steps of Discovery.  You will be able to choose for yourself how to move through your emotions toward solutions in a proactive, rather than reactive manner.

I developed the JOURNALriffic Method from a pattern that has worked for me through many years of some of my life’s most difficult trials.  I am well-acquainted with blighted hopes, shattered dreams and unfulfilled desires both individually and with my family’s circumstances, yet I’ve learned to be positive and happy by choice.  I’ve also dealt with lingering physical challenges and constant pain as a result of three car accidents.  Although I’ve faced times of extreme disappointment and much of my life hasn’t turned out like I planned, I continue to find solutions to challenges, and I still love my life because I stay engaged in the process of creating a happy one.

With JOURNALriffic, you will address thoughts as they come up as a result of your present experiences.  The idea is to work through your emotions and challenges and consistently work toward turning your weaknesses into strengths and enjoying your life.  You will come to understand who you really are in light of the truth that no matter your past choices or experiences, you are not your history.  You will begin to clearly see that you create your life in your present moments.  Each day is a new beginning and holds countless opportunities for enjoyment, peace and the satisfying rewards of unselfish love.

Dr. Ronald Newsom gets right to the bottom line of defining your true identity when he says, “You are a good, unique person, endowed by your Creator, with sovereign [self-governing] power to act as a free, independent agent.”1

You have the intrinsic, God-given power to act and not be acted upon.  With the help of JOURNALriffic, you will learn to use that power to move quickly through the process of aligning your thoughts, feelings and actions with your innate, individual worth.  By doing so, you will ignite the proactive power within you which ignites the power of generations and provides far-reaching benefits.  As you stay actively engaged in leaving your life story better than you found it, your doubts, insecurities, limitations and fears will diminish.  You can proceed with vigor on the path that enables you to contribute your positive influence to the lives of those around you in your present moments.

It is my hope that you will benefit from this method of journaling so that you can extend your positive influence toward others in such a way that you will feel great satisfaction while taking deliberate action steps to experience more joy as you proactively create lasting happiness.

Use JOURNALriffic- Turn Your Pain Into Purpose With 4 Steps of Discovery to help you turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction, to hope, direction, happiness and peace.

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1Newsom, Dr. Ronald. Life, Liberty, Happiness: Rediscovering Your True Identity. n.p. April 2013. Print

Disclosure of Material Connection:  In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the author of JOURNALriffic, and I’m an affiliate of Amazon.

 

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

emotional vitality tip of the day on seafoam green background

Step Out of Your Sorrow and Pain. Use JOURNALriffic.

Step out of your sorrow and pain

Whatever your circumstance, not one of us has been exempt from experiencing sorrow as well as happiness and pain as well as pleasure.  Reflecting on your life’s experiences and choosing to consistently write in your journal about the good times will help preserve the sweetness, fun, thrill, adventure and excitement in life.

On the flip side, making conscious efforts to turn your pain into your purpose as TODAY’s ChangeMaker is more challenging in many ways, yet it is a worthy goal that I’m prepared to help you implement.

ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip of the Day

By using the JOURNALriffic™ 4 Steps of Discovery as a guide, you will be taking the steps needed to create and maintain positive, life-enhancing change in your life.  You can use your journal as your own form of history-in-the-making.  It can become a written record of your commitment and efforts to leave life better than you found it.

These steps will enable you to emotionally process your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, actions, values and beliefs in order to see the interactions, patterns and events of your life clearly.  With clarity, you are perfectly positioned to choose the best course of action for yourself.  You will use your inner wisdom as a guide for making better and better decisions in your present moments—while allowing your guiding purpose as TODAY’s ChangeMaker to propel you forward.

The JOURNALriffic Method, called the 4 Steps of Discovery, will help you zero in more specifically on those things you want to improve upon, so you can leave a living legacy of rising above obstacles in order to create positive growth in this generation.

Use JOURNALriffic- Turn Your Pain Into Purpose With 4 Steps of Discovery to help you turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction, to hope, direction, happiness and peace. Get your copy TODAY!

*****
Disclosure of Material Connection:  In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the author of JOURNALriffic, and I’m an affiliate of Amazon.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

emotional vitality tip of the day on white tile-like background

3 Journaling Tips for Emotional Renewal

As you pursue emotional renewal, if you are seeking:

  • Less stress
  • Healthier relationships
  • Confidence
  • Positive self-development
  • Clarity of your life’s purpose
  • Greater peace of mind

then JOURNALing your thoughts, may become a strong consideration for you—but not just any journaling.  You’ll want to discover a method of organizing your thoughts that is convenient enough and comprehensive enough to help you elevate your thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns. You’ll want to make sure it’s a way that helps you create lasting change for the better and actually makes it worth your time and effort to write your thoughts on paper or on the computer.

JOURNALriffic-Turn Your Pain Into Purpose With 4 Steps of Discovery, is a method of guided-journaling that can help you create lasting change and an overall happier life. The JOURNALriffic Method, called the 4 Steps of Discovery, assists you as you so you can navigate your emotions in a proactive, rather than reactive, manner.  Thus, you can help, not hurt, yourself and others as you fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart. I developed the JOURNALriffic Method from a pattern that has worked for me through many years of some of my life’s most difficult trials.

Here are 3 simple tips to help you establish essential habits as you use your journal to assist you in establishing consistent mental and emotional renewal time.

Tip #1- Choose WHEN you’ll write.

Of course, you can always be spontaneous, but for best results, you will want to fit journaling into your routine.  After obtaining a journal that suits your purposes, choose a time of day to write in your journal that can become a consistent part of what you do.  I like to look at it as mental and emotional renewal. I prefer jotting down my thoughts in the morning before getting ready for the day.  Many people put on some calming music and enjoy writing in the evenings before going to sleep.  Others record their journal entries during a lunch break.  Use your intuition to find what time best for you.  Full, long-term benefits are best attained when this life-enhancing habit is set in place.

Tip #2- Choose WHERE you will write.

Ask yourself where you can find a quiet place to mindfully explore your thoughts.  Minimizing distractions helps you to keep your mind clear.

By taking the JOURNALriffic Challenge to write a record of daily events and the personal growth resulting from those experiences., you can steadily and consistently boost the power of your own positive influence.  Some welcomed outcomes include renewed hope, increased insight, fine-tuned perspective, improved meaningful relationships, and laser-focused access to the possibility of additional personal peace—just to name a few.  Writing daily will help you consciously recognize your thought patterns, habit patterns, and perhaps family patterns that are either helpful or hurtful, giving you clarity on what you want to change or what you want to keep implementing in your life and in your personal progress.

Ask yourself, “Is it worth using a few minutes today to be able to enjoy the benefits that JOURNALriffic writing can bring?”

Tip #3 – Choose WHY you are writing.

In any endeavor in life, knowing your WHY is one of the most important things you can know.  Having a clear vision of your purpose in writing in your journal is vital to being able to maintain the motivation and focus needed while establishing this life-changing habit. Otherwise, writing in a journal can become just another item to check off your already too long TO DO list, and who need that?

JOURNALriffic- Turn Your Pain Into Purpose With 4 Steps of Discovery was written in an effort to help men and women who’ve experienced distress or trauma as a child or adult- including the disruptive ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction or abuse in themselves, their family or family lines.

If you are a deeply discouraged or highly frustrated man or woman who would like to steadily, consistently and easily change your life for the better and leave your life story better than you found it, I would like to recommend using the JOURNALriffic method of guided journaling.  It begins with the commitment and clarification of your quest—which is the WHY of writing the JOURNALriffic way.

The JOURNALriffic Commitment is, “I am ready to grow in spite of insecurities, frustration and fear, with an intention to strengthen myself in this generation.  Courageously and consistently, I pursue my Quest.”

The QUEST refers to your desires to help, and not hurt, yourself and others.  The Quest is also known as your Family Tree Quest because you realize your choices today can positively influence future generations.

This commitment includes the letters that form the “riffic” portion of JOURNALriffic.  I will write in my journal daily because I am

R-eady to grow
I-n spite of insecurities,
F-rustration and
F-ear, with an
I-ntention to strengthen myself in THIS generation.
C-ourageously and consistently, I pursue my QUEST.

ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip of the Day

Take action on your self-doubts, insecurities, frustrations and fears.  Use JOURNALriffic to create increased happiness.. Get your copy today!

ReNEW YOU free presentations, class trainings and coaching are available to you, too.

CLICK HERE to see the full range of support that has been prepared with YOU in mind!

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Disclosure of Material Connection:  In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the author of JOURNALriffic, and I’m an affiliate of Amazon.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.