Category Archives: Uncategorized

A New Year For TODAY’s ChangeMakers

Every year on January 1^st, it’s my delight to wish a very Happy New Year to sincere, determined men and women who do not give up on creating positive change in themselves, their families and family lines. We want to stop perpetuating destructive behaviors and increase those that are beneficial to happiness in our relationships.. These are the people I call TODAY’s ChangeMaker Chain Breakers. Maybe that’s YOU!

As TODAY’s ChangeMaker Chain Breakers. we can look forward to a lot of joy in this new year. As we follow our guiding purposes, we empower ourselves to create positive change. For Today’s ChangeMaker Chain Breakers everywhere, I hope you will stay true to our guiding purposes which are to

Glean wisdom from the past rather than stay stuck in it.
Be happy and live a purpose-filled life as TODAY’s ChangeMaker.
Prepare courageously and confidently for the future—come what may.

This wonderful reminder from Jeffrey R. Holland is a perfect fit for the first guiding purpose of gleaning wisdom from the past rather than staying stuck in it.

He says, “As a new year begins and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives.

So a more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind.

To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now, to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future, and to miss the here and now and tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there and then and yesterday are some of the sins of Lot’s wife.”

The story of Lot’s wife is found in the Bible. See Genesis 19:26.

Let us embrace our present moments as we elevate our daily life circumstances throughout the year.

To your happiness in this new Year,
Carolyn

If you have experienced divorce, mistreatment, addiction an/or abuse anywhere in your family or family line, and you’re looking for some guidance and support in this new year, check out the upcoming ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles by CLICKING HERE.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Create a Bountiful Harvest of Goodness in Your Family

My Yearly Harvest-time Tip:
Create a bountiful harvest of goodness. Yes, you!

Dieter F, Uchtdorf has said, “Perhaps you don’t consider yourself all that useful; perhaps you don’t consider yourself a blessing in somebody’s life. Often, when we look at ourselves, we see only our limitations and deficiencies. We might think we have to be “more” of something for God to use us—more intelligent, more wealthy, more charismatic, more talented, more spiritual. Blessings will come not so much because of your abilities but because of your choices. And the God of the universe will work within and through you, magnifying your humble efforts for his purposes. How encouraging it is to know, though we are imperfect, if our hearts are turned to God, He will be generous and kind and use us for His purposes. No matter your position in your community…, God will use you, if you are wiling. He will magnify your righteous desires and turn the compassionate actions you sow into a bountiful harvest of goodness.

If you need help getting a grip by discovering or revitalizing your inner sense of self-worth, check out this class training: Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E.
1) The COMPLETE class is designed for deeply discouraged or highly frustrated men and women who have experienced the disruptive ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction and/or abuse in themselves (as a child or adult), or in their family or family lines.
2) The MINI CLASS zeros in on the basics of elevating thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns.
Check out all my class offerings by CLICKING HERE.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Unforgiveness: The Prison of Unforgiveness

Let’s talk about unforgiveness–not forgiving others–and it’s consequence to you.

Are You In the Prison of Unforgiveness?

Forgiving is the way to not let the past hold you prisoner to your own pain. Today, we’ll consider this question, “Are you holding yourself hostage in the prison of unforgiveness?:

Holding on to anger, bitterness, hatred and feelings of vengeance is like YOU drinking poison yourself and expecting the OTHER person to die. It just isn’t a good thing to do because it backfires!

False Ideas, Cleverly Disguised

Feeling justified in not forgiving someone feeds the false idea of having power OVER someone else, and is so cleverly disguised that you think you are NOT the one getting hurt. You may never in a million years even consider that you are only hurting yourself because your blame of someone else for your own pain keeps you blinded to the role your own thoughts and feelings play.

Blame and Unforgiveness Are Connected

In the article, Blaming Others: Hurts You More Than It Hurts Them , Holly Brown, LFMT says, “Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes other people are to blame. Sometimes you are completely and totally and utterly correct in thinking that it’s someone else’s fault.

But once you’ve tried to get them to see that and failed, once they refuse to take responsibility, or if you are habitually blaming others rather than formulating a solution–then what?

The problem with blaming others is that it can often leave you powerless. For example, you confront the person (your boss, your spouse, your parent, your child), and they say, “No, I didn’t,” or worse, “So what if I did?”, then you’re left with all this anger and hurt and no resolution.

All your feelings are legitimate. It’s important to feel them fully, and then move on. Nursing your grievances indefinitely is a bad habit, because (as the title goes) it hurts you more than it hurts them.

… It is true that living well is the best revenge, and if you’re fanning the flames of your anger toward others for long periods of time, then you’re certainly not living well.”

Can you see the truth in what she says?

Ossie

In 2016, I was privileged to speak with a Holocaust survivor named Ossie, for about ½ hour, just the two of us. As we talked, with riveted attention, I soaked in his experiences but mostly absorbed, straight into my heart, some of the lessons he learned through that atrocious experience. The most memorable to me was the fact that he saw many fellow survivors after the war. He said the ones who did not forgive were eaten up inside themselves with hatred. They were consumed with anger and rage, and stayed that way. Those who forgave went on to live more productive lives. It was apparent that Ossie had forgiven.

Sharing the Lesson of Forgiveness vs Unforgiveness

Ossie’s first-hand perspective about a principle I already knew to be true, impacted me so much, that, later in the day, after his presentation to High School Students, I asked him to share what he learned about forgiveness with my oldest grandson—hoping that that powerful life lesson from a Holocaust survivor might continue have an impact through the generations in my own family. The ripple effect of his sharing this powerful life lesson will continue to ripple though many lives—the lives of each student, teacher, or loved one in attendance that day—especially if those stories are written in journals, to be remembered after life gets busy and hectic and things are easily forgotten.

Oprah

Oprah Winfrey is a notable public figure whose own eyes were opened to facets of forgiveness she had not thought about before. Viewed by the world as highly successful, she has been innovative, hard-working and influential which led to her achieving the distinction of being a billionaire.

Whether you agree with her points of view or not, her life story carries within it a particularly poignant example of rising above the odds. Personally, I am an advocate of not judging a person’s life by the chapter I happened to walk in on. We all have our own sorrow, pains and things we’ve overcome and are still overcoming. In that spirit, I’d like to share some powerful things Oprah had to say about her transcendent moment and paradigm shift relating to the concept of forgiveness.

Oprah’s Difficult Life Challenges

As a matter of background and according to the Internet Movie Database, Oprah was born to a teenage mother, was raised in abject poverty partially by her grandmother, and she was raped at the age of 9 by a 19-year-old cousin who was babysitting her. She was also sexually abused by a family friend, her mother’s boyfriend, and her uncle. When she was just 14, she gave birth to a baby boy who died after 2 weeks due to complications of being born 2 months premature.

She had a lot in her life that could have held her back, and she had a lot to forgive. In one of Oprah’s Life Classes on the Oprah Winfrey Network, she said this, “After 25 years and more than 30,000 guests, … it was one man’s definition of forgiveness that changed my life. In her interview, she said, ‘Harold, you mentioned that the secret to really finding true happiness is forgiveness. What do you mean by that?’ Harold responded, ‘It really means letting go of the past. It really means letting go of our perception that we need to hold a grievance the rest of our lives. If we really want to hold on to grievances, we’ll never really be happy. It’s really a willingness to see the person in the light of love rather than in the action that happened. So, it’s really changing the perception, and it really means LETTING GO OF THE PAST THAT WE THOUGHT WE WANTED. You know, we can’t really change that past, so it means really releasing the negative perception of it and coming back to the present. [Hold on until you see how this affected Oprah]

Oprah’s Transcendent Moment

Oprah then said, ‘that was a transcendent moment for me. Bigger even than an Ah Ha. He said, FORGIVENESS IS GIVING UP THE HOPE THAT THE PAST COULD BE ANY DIFFERENT. I think for myself, and I know many of you, you think forgiving means accepting what has happened to you. Well, it is accepting that it HAS happened to you, not accepting that it was okay for it to happen, it is accepting that it HAS happened, and now, what do I do about it. Forgiving is giving up the hope, not holding on, hoping, wishing that it could have been any other way than it actually was. Giving up the hope that the past could be any different. And, when I got that, I think it took me to the next level of being a better person because I don’t hold grudges for ANYTHING or any situation! And neither should you. It’s letting go so that the past does not hold YOU prisoner—does not hold YOU hostage.

Watch on YouTube by clicking here.

Oprah is known to have said,
“The best advice touches the part of you that knows it’s true.”

Can you feel the truth of these statements about forgiveness?

The past CANNOT be changed-no matter how much you spend your time and energy wishing it could. It cannot be different. It is what it is.

Tyler Perry, shares this.
“When you haven’t forgiven those who’ve hurt you, you turn your back against your future.
When you do forgive, you start walking forward.”

Forgiveness is the way and means by which we do not pull the past into our present moments and project it into the future. It is one significant way we free ourselves from living in bondage to our emotional pain. -Carolyn Calton

Forgiving Can Be Hard

Remember that sometimes you need help outside yourself. Reach up. Look toward heaven.

Jesus Christ made possible both repenting (obtaining a change of mind and heart) and being forgiven. He also can empower us to forgive others. God has the power to help you rise above your own perceived capacity to forgive—even with things that sometimes appear unforgivable. I know I have been helped by Him as I have called upon Him in prayer. He has the power to help you see forgiveness in a different light, if you desire it.

Following God’s laws is what brings happiness, true security and inner peace. Don’t let unforgiveness stand in the way of true happiness and satisfaction at the deepest levels of your soul. Be sure to take care of not only the physical and emotional parts of your “self”, but the spiritual as well. Access the help you need to increase your spiritual vitality and learn to live in harmony with who you really are..

Three Questions Worth Considering

1) Is unforgiveness (a lack of forgiving others) affecting the harmony you could have within yourself, and in that way entangling you and derailing your thinking into unproductive efforts that subtly affect your inner worth, overall?
2) Who do you need to forgive?
3) What will you do with this knowledge?

Turn Your Pain Into Purpose

I’d like to remind you that you might benefit from journaling your thoughts as you process any uncomfortable, yet life-freeing emotions. The JOURNALriffic Method of Journal writing may help you turn your emotional pain into purpose.

Writing out your thoughts on paper or typing them on the computer can help you see clearly and understand what your hurt is all about. It can also help you find the life-changing, sustainable, principle-centered solutions you seek in order to be happy. Turn your back on being stuck in ruminating thoughts about your emotional pain and its cause. Take a step in the right direction. Integrate journal-writing and journal keeping into your emotional health routine today.

YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker!

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we must proactively free ourselves from the prison of unforgiveness. We are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our lives as well as those stemming from our families of origin. That includes any situations in the past or in spite of what may be occurring in our life or in our family now.

Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families. We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.

Check out my class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships. This excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class. Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart.

CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.

***
Disclosure of material connection: I am the author of JOURNALriffic -Turn Your Pain Into Purpose.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Disrupted Families: Divorce, Mistreatment, Abuse

Have your life been touched by the disruptive ripple effects of divorce as a child or adult, or mistreatment, or tremendous loss, addiction or abuse? If not, this information may be useful to a friend or family member that you care about.

pink flowering tree on green spot of grass with description about how the mind is a garden

YOU hold within yourself the seeds of change.
Re-framing your perception can change everything!

Are you forgetting that your ancestor’s stories may hold some answers for you?

Don’t forget the inter-generational influence that your ancestors have had on your parents and on you. Sometimes learning about family disruption or trauma in generations before you will help you make sense of why things are as they’ve been in your family line. Learning this information can help build bridges of understanding between the generations.

Start by asking questions of your living relatives. There are also free sites on the Internet where you can begin your search for information about your ancestors that may include access to stories of their lives or links to living relatives that may hold answers to some missing puzzle pieces in your own family history. One such site is Family Search. They encourage you to “find and discover yourself”. Learn where you came from, and get to know who you are.

Understanding their life stories and parts of their own history of facing adversity holds the possibility of creating a new perspective for you. It can lead to the freedom of forgiveness, release of the past or to shifts in your point of view that can help create healing as you move forward toward living a happier, more peaceful life.

Bearing grudges, holding resentment and other negative feelings in your heart, including hatred, leads to unforgiveness, and unforgiveness is like giving someone else free rent in your head and heart. You replay this history over and over again.

You don’t need to be close to them or trust them, but letting go of not forgiving them will free your soul to thrive. Not forgiviing only traps you in never-ending cycles of self-inflicted pain.

YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker In Your Disrupted Family!

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships. This excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class. Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart.

CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.

family trees, genealogy, forgiveness, patterns, dysfunction, generational change, generational healing, family, perceptions, beliefs

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Co-dependence: The Walking Wounded, Part 1

We all have innate need for warm, caring, loving relationships. Then, how do we end up feeling like the walking wounded who have painful and sometimes tragic lives? Understanding co-dependence can begin to unlock some very troubling and often unanswered questions.

Questions from the Walking Wounded

How do we become men or women who feel out of touch with our own feelings, needs and desires?
How did we become full of self-doubts? Why are some of us continually longing for something more than experiencing fear, shame, loneliness, depression, anxious-thinking, or deep sadness that seem to encompass our very soul?
What happened to our spontaneous sense of wonder and to our natural creativity?
What happened to our happiness and why?

We All Need Security and Healthy Modeling of Emotions

John Bradshaw offers an explanation relating to children, but since we need healthy modeling of emotions all during our lives, I believe this information can be appreciated and related to as applying to adults, at times of departure from our true worth, as well as to children.

Notice these two pictures of children. The first picture shows a child whose home is full of distress, and the next child represents a child that has a healthier home environment.

According to Bradshaw in his book Homecoming, he says “Children need security and healthy modeling of emotions in order to understand their own inner signals. They also need help in separating their thoughts from their feelings.” He points out how, when the child’s experiences extreme distress or trauma in the family environment , “the child must focus solely on the outside. Over time, he loses the ability to generate self-esteem from within. Without a healthy inner life, one is exiled to trying to find fulfillment on the outside. This is co-dependence

What is Co-dependence

Bradshaw goes on to say, “To be codependent is to be out of touch with one’s feelings, needs and desires.”

Co-dependence is not the same as becoming “one-in-purpose” like in a healthy, harmonious relationship where two people interrelate with each other without losing their sense of individual gifts, strengths and identity and without compromising their values.

In co-dependent relationships, people put aside their own vital self-care and innate well-being and values to maintain a relationship with another. They often feed off the neediness of another or devote all their life’s time and attention to them.

As you’re growing up or, even as an adult, when you trust and depend on someone that’s, in reality, not dependable, you can develop co-dependence without even knowing it. Emotional deficits begin to exist. Painful patterns of behavior develop. Co-dependency can develop even if you’ve had a peaceful upbringing. It can begin even if you’re bringing your own best efforts to a relationship and are willing to do what it takes to create harmony and fun. When things aren’t going like you expected, you just recognize something’s off, but may not be able to put your finger on exactly what’s going wrong.

The Loss of Self-hood

In a PBS special long ago, John Bradshaw used a mobile, which is kind of like a wind chime, to illustrate what happens in co-dependent relationships. The mobile is at rest, yet when one piece is tugged on, all the other pieces, of necessity, move. That’s how it is in a family system, If there’s someone with control issues, anger issues or addictions and so forth, the whole system is out of balance and strives to regain equilibrium again.

Most professionals agree that co-dependency is about the loss of self-hood. Bradshaw also states that “Co-dependency is a condition wherein one has no inner life. Happiness is on the outside. Good feelings and self-validation lie on the outside. Pia Mellody’s definition of co-dependency is “a state of dis – ease whereby the authentic self is unknown or kept hidden, so that a sense of self … of mattering … of esteem and connectedness to others is distorted, creating pain and distorted relationships.”

Bradshaw also says, “Co-dependence is fostered in unhealthy family systems. For example, everyone in an alcoholic family becomes co-dependent on the alcoholic’s drinking. The alcoholic father is absorbed in drinking and the codependent mother is absorbed with the alcoholic. Because the drinking is so life-threatening to each family member, they adapt by becoming chronically alert (hypervigilant). Adaptation to stress was intended by nature to be a temporary state. It was never intended to be chronic. Over time, a person living with the chronic distress of alcoholic behavior loses touch with his own internal cues—his own feelings, needs, and desires.The same is true for any … chronic distress, including addictions to work or …activities, eating disorders, addictions to control or perfectionism, or mental or physical illness.”

What’s Next?

Watch for Co—dependence: The Walking Wounded, Part 2 and Part 3.

Need help knowing what TO do instead of following co-dependent patterns?

Access our Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E online class trainings to view at your own pace. There is a mini-class that helps you elevate your thought, patterns, habit patterns and family patterns (just the basics), and a complete class that takes a deeper dive into tips, tools and information that can help you make sense out of life. We put generational issues and addictive or abusive family patterns, and more, under the microscope for clarity of understanding. If you’re looking for small group support as well as online coaching, so you can put an end to the isolation of feeling alone, JOIN US for our Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles. Watch for the next enrollment dates. We’re waiting for YOU!

CLICK HERE to view ALL the free presentations and other current support we can offer you.

You Are TODAY’S ChangeMaker!

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live beyond
co-dependence. This excerpt in this blog post has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Complete Class. Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart.

CLICK HERE to see all the free presentations and class offerings.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

What’s Your Story? Life’s Journey Prompts

This year I am posting the #52Stories Project links from FamilySearch.org. Using these prompts helps each of us become a positive INfluence on our family’s inter-generational narrative.

The idea is to follow a weekly prompt to write down just one story every week for a year. By the end of a year’s time , you will be 52 steps and 52 stories closer to having written your personal history.

I use Personal Historian 2 Software to record and organize my personal history by topic as well as my daily journal entries.

Challenge: Write down the details of your life to “define the dash” that exists between your birth date and death date.

Here’s the #52Stories life journey prompts by theme that will take us through the summer:

April’s theme is: Home and Health. Click here for more questions to answer for April.
May’s theme is: Mothers and Motherhood. Click here for more questions to answer for May.
June’s theme is: Fathers and Fatherhood. Click here for more questions to answer for June.
July’s theme is: Events and Milestones. Click here for more questions to answer for July.
August’s theme is: Travel and Vacations. Click here for more questions to answer for August.

Why write down your experiences?

Your experiences as TODAY’s ChangeMaker™ are of great worth. Be sure to write them down.

Ordinary events help people know who you really are from the INside out and how you think and operate in the world. Happy times uplift us. Many of us have come through or are coming through some real rough patches along the way, too. The steps you take and courage you muster to do the almost-impossible has value for those who may follow in your footsteps as they traverse their own path in life. Never underestimate the value of lessons learned through experiencing difficulty, adversity and personal trials. Also, sharing happy times brings hope to others when they see that there’s more to life than drudging through it.

Through writing down your life experiences and observations, it may become crystal clear to you and others how an individual can become their best, most happy and capable selves. You may learn what personal character traits contribute to strong, safe, secure family relationships, and in contract, you can see what detracts from and destroys them. This knowledge can help you develop a healthy concern about contributing positively to the future of your family line. It can become a major driver for living a purpose-filled life. It can help bring direction to the course of life. You may be able to see thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns through writing things down that help you see what helps you stay strong and, on the other hand, you will be better positioned to identify what is destructive so you can take steps to help change it.

Ready, Set, GROW!

Heal the heartbreak of dysfunction and stress in yourself and your family line.
End the isolation of feeling alone in your journey to create positive change with these helpful classes, coaching and small group connections.
Check out our ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles.

Personal History Tool Tips for Spring and Summer:

Flip-Pal™ mobile scanner – Portable, easy flip-and-scan-technology. You can even scan pictures in the frame or while they remain in their photo albums! I sit on the sofa in comfort and scan to my hearts delight. My grandson’s love to help. This is a great summer project that connects the whole family to their positive memories.

Legacy Family Tree Software– is the software I use to easily preserve my genealogical information. It is important to have a software on your computer for your records. Don’t rely on online record-keeping alone.

Family ChartMasters– Create a beautiful, Family Tree Chart for your home to strengthen your posterity. Remember your roots and also your one-and-only, unique and vital place on your family tree.

JOURNALriffic– Use the journaling method—the 4 Steps of Discovery—in the ebook I authored. It was written specifically for TODAY’s ChangeMakers like you. It will you how to put an end to negative thinking and destructive tendencies in yourself or your family line in order to enjoy more peace-of-mind and happiness.

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Note: TODAY’s ChangeMakers™ are sincere, determined men and women who do not give up on creating positive change—in spite of obstacles. If you haven’t already done so, I invite you to officially JOIN THE QUEST at Family Tree Quest.com.
*****
Disclosure of Material Connection: In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the owner or a compensated affiliate of the hyperlinked companies, websites, ebooks, classes and membership circles mentioned in this post.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Can positive memories help treat mental health problems?

ReGENERATE and ReNEW YOU:

A study highlighting the effectiveness of using positive memories and images to help generate positive emotions has been published by researchers….

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/04/160420083949.htm

Dr. Daniel Amen says it this way on Facebook:

A study highlighting the effectiveness of using positive memories and images to help generate positive emotions has been published by researchers. The work suggests that savouring positive memories can generate positive emotions. Increasing positive emotion can have a range of benefits including reducing attention to and experiences of threat.

I have learned that when coming out of traumatic experiences sometimes everything in the past seems to become tainted. There is a desire not to look back anymore because it’s either too painful or too confusing.

There are some memories with people you’ve loved or trusted who have not breached that trust, or happy memories with loving others purely from your own heart, like children, that can nourish and strengthen TODAY’s ChangeMakers (you and me) in very good ways.

INspired Action Step: Be proactive in savoring at least one positive memory daily to GENERATE positive emotions. After all, we are focused on the generations. To be a positive INfluence, we must ReGENERATE and ReNEW ourselves first.

Join my Mailing List by clicking here to receive information on our upcoming ReNEW YOU Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles. Join with a group of like-minded people who are actively creating change from the INside out. People, like you, who do not give up on creating positive change in spite of the odds.

I’d love to have you join me on Facebook, too. See you there!

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

God did hear our cries and answer our prayers.

TIP: Learn from the faith-promoting experiences of others–especially from those who are a member of your own family line.

I was reading this morning about a people who were living a fairly ordinary life, and then they were attacked. (Interesting how life sometimes goes when all is going well, and we are slow to remember the Lord.) These people remembered that they could be delivered “out of the hands of their enemies” because of THIS. They said, “for we were awakened to a remembrance of the deliverance of our fathers. And God did hear our cries and did answer our prayers; and we did go forth in his might.”*

Even though these people lived thousands of years ago, the records they kept and the stories passed down from their forefathers helped them awaken to the source of strength and INsight and deliverance from their enemies that could help them beyond their own capacity. How many of us, when times get tough, remember something we may have forgotten about the strength, fortitude, resilience amid great obstacles or trials, that a family member of our own went through and rose above. There are countless stories of faith and fortitude waiting to be discovered within our own family history.

Last night I was watching the show 17 Miracles. Among my heritage are many Mormon Pioneers. The particular company of pioneers depicted in this movie left for their destination late in the season, and they endured hardships beyond comprehension. They were all just mortal men, women and children who were trying to do the best they could for their families. They faced extreme and severe circumstances with hunger, fatigue, death, deprivation, equipment failure, and so much more that called for extraordinary faith and endurance. Amidst it all, there were miracles.

During a time of extreme hunger, one woman obtained beef jerky in a miraculous way. She returned to the camp and shared with her children and others. No doubt this saved lives. At the end of the show, it tells of how one of her family members did not believe this story–even though she had sacrificed so much and endured much hardship. Later, thankfully, someone else from the company mentioned it in the presence of the one who did not believe it.

After watching the show, it seemed so sad to me that her own family member wouldn’t understand or believe which must have been life-saving and such a blessing to her. I think many faithful parents in today’s world may somehow relate to this–even though our times and unique challenges are very different. In my own way, I identify with the feeling of sacrificing your all for the sake of your family members, only to be often misunderstood or criticized for the very thing that kept you and them alive–physically, emotionally or spiritually.

It was encouraging to remember that the awareness of the value of our faith in God and fortitude amid trials and obstacles may even jump a generation or two before being rediscovered, yet our sacrifices are not lost. It may be the very thing that helps one of our posterity to be strong and encouraged amidst their own trials with faith, family, friends or circumstances.

Whose story in your family line is waiting to be known or rediscovered?

Gordon B Hinckley shared this account of the rescue of those spoken of in the movie 17 Miracles.

“It was in … desperate and terrible circumstances—hungry, exhausted, their clothes thin and ragged—that [the handcart companies] were found by the rescue party. As the rescuers appeared on the western horizon breaking a trail through the snow, they seemed as angels of mercy. And indeed they were. The beleaguered emigrants shouted for joy, some of them. Others, too weak to shout, simply wept and wept and wept.

“There was now food to eat and some warmer clothing. But the suffering was not over, nor would it ever end in mortality. Limbs had been frozen, and the gangrenous flesh sloughed off from the bones.

“The carts were abandoned, and the survivors were crowded into the wagons of the rescuers. The long rough journey of three hundred, four hundred, even five hundred miles between them and this valley was especially slow and tedious because of the storms. On November 30, 104 wagons, loaded with suffering human cargo, came into the Salt Lake Valley. Word of their expected arrival had preceded them. It was Sunday, and again the Saints were gathered in the Tabernacle. Brigham Young stood before the congregation and said:

“‘As soon as this meeting is dismissed I want the brethren and sisters to repair to their homes. …

“‘The afternoon meeting will be omitted, for I wish the sisters to … prepare to give those who have just arrived a mouthful of something to eat, and to wash them and nurse them. …

“‘Some you will find with their feet frozen to their ankles; some are frozen to their knees and some have their hands frosted … ; we want you to receive them as your own children, and to have the same feeling for them’ (quoted in Hafen, Handcarts to Zion, p. 139)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 76–77; or Ensign, Nov. 1991, 54).

Francis Webster, a member of the Martin Handcart Company said, “Mistake to send the Handcart Company out so late in the season? Yes! But I was in that company and my wife was in it….We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Every one of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with Him in our extremities!”

In 1996, Gordon B. Hinckley, referring to the suffering of the Martin and Willie handcart companies, said:

“I am grateful that those days of pioneering are behind us. I am thankful that we do not have brethren and sisters stranded in the snow, freezing and dying… But there are people, not a few, whose circumstances are desperate and who cry out for help and relief.

“There are so many who are hungry and destitute across this world who need help. … Ours is a great and solemn duty to reach out and help them, to lift them, to feed them if they are hungry, to nurture their spirits if they thirst for truth and righteousness.

“There are so many young people who wander aimlessly and walk the tragic trail of drugs, gangs, immorality, and the whole brood of ills that accompany these things. There are widows who long for friendly voices and that spirit of anxious concern which speaks of love. There are those who were once warm in the faith, but whose faith has grown cold. Many of them wish to come back but do not know quite how to do it. They need friendly hands reaching out to them. With a little effort, many of them can be brought back to feast again at the table of the Lord.

“… I would hope, I would pray that each of us … would resolve to seek those who need help, who are in desperate and difficult circumstances, and lift them in the spirit of love … (in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 118; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 86).

INspired Action Steps: It’s now your turn on earth. Who will you lift and serve? What will be your story of faithful obedience to God? There are those in your family line who follow you. Rejoice that we live in a day of opportunity. Rejoice that we have the opportunity to choose living a life with faith in Christ being fully planted in our hearts. There are and will always be miracles. I INcourage you to faithfully use your INfluence for good, and, in doing so, you will see the hand of God unfold in your life and in the lives of others in unlimited miraculous ways.

If you’d like to comment, please visit my Family Tree Gal Facebook Page and comment under the reference to this post there.

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* Mosiah 9: 14-19
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About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

New ReNEW YOU INspirations Topic: COMPASSION

Hello!
Today is MINDFUL MONDAY.
I’m glad you’ve chosen to take daily steps toward
becoming a happier, healthier, more positive YOU!

Through your choices today, you are shaping generations.

We are here on earth to remember and live true to who we really are by
clearing ourselves of unproductive or destructive thought patterns,
habit patterns and family patterns. This benefits both ourselves and others.

Your INfluence matters!
You may be just the person to create positive change that your family line has waited for.

This month, we are working toward strengthening
the principle and power of

COMPASSION

In an effort to create positive change in a world full of turmoil,
we’re joining together to focus on one principle a month
using the JOURNALriffic Method of journaling, called the 4 Steps of Discovery,
as part of creating personal growth and positive INfluence.

We are using our personal power to embrace these attributes
to help stabilize and heal our hearts and homes.

Join our monthly telecall and receive weekly recorded messages.
See details at http://carolyncalton.com/ten-minute-treasures/

Here are some basics for you
to begin pondering the principle of COMPASSION.

noun
A feeling of deep sympathy ad sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune,
accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

verb
compassionate

Words with the same or similar meanings (synonyms):
benevolence, empathy, grace, humanity, kindness, mercy,
sorrow, tenderness, charity, clemency, consideration, humaneness
softheartedness, tenderheartedness, yearning, fellow feeling

Words with opposite meanings (anyonyms):
animosity, cruelty, ill will, meanness, mercilessness, harshness,
hatred, indifference

Here are some INspiring quotes about COMPASSION:

If you know of another principle that would be more helpful to you right now,
feel free to choose that as your principle this month instead.
A list of helpful principles can be found in the back of JOURNALriffic.
A modified version of the 4 Steps of Discovery can be found
on the Daily JOURNALriffic Prompts tab on this website.
You can find steps for each weekday there.

Ponder these thoughts as you INtegrate them into your daily living
We are here to help and not hurt ourselves and others,
which is the goal of Family Tree Quest and
TODAY’s ChangeMakers.
Write your observations and ideas in your journal.

YOU ignite and unite the power of generations!
Ready. Set. GROW!
Happy Journaling.

Resources:
Purchase JOURNALriffic.
Additional Family History resources, including Personal Historian Software.
Unique Gift Ideas and Products

*****
Dictionary source: “compassion”. Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 07 Mar. 2016. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/compassion>.

Source of synonyms and antonyms: “compassion”. Roget’s 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition. Philip Lief Group 2009. 07 Mar. 2016. <Thesaurus.com http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/compassion>.

Disclaimer: Please remember that information contained here is provided as an informational resource only and is not a substitute for medical or professional care.

Disclosure of Material Connection : I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”I am Carolyn Calton, the founder of Family Tree Quest and the CEO of the Liahona Light Institute, of which the Liahona Light Academy is its online arm. I am the author of JOURNALriffic. Lori Wiser is an affiliate of Amazon, and if you click Additional Family History Resources or Unique Gift Ideas and Products, you will access some of my affiliates. If you make a purchase, I will receive a small commission. You will not be charged any extra for your purchase through these links. I thank you for using these links.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

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ReGENERATE and ReNEW YOU:

INspired Action Step: Be proactive in savoring at least one positive memory daily to GENERATE positive emotions. After all, we are focused on the generations. To be a positive INfluence, we must ReGENERATE and ReNEW ourselves first.

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COMPASSION

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My Yearly Harvest-time Tip:
Create a bountiful harvest of goodness. Yes, you!