Traditions and personal freedom
Traditions directly link to personal freedom. It would be wise to make choices connected to our traditions, that will help, and not hurt, ourselves and our families. Freedom from destructive, dead-end generational patterns and beliefs makes room for healthy, productive, life-changing progress. The way is not always easy, but it IS possible.
A word about tradition
Maybe you remember the movie Fiddler on the Roof.
An online film synopsis states that the movie “tells the life-affirming story of Tevye, a poor milkman [with five daughters] whose love, pride and faith help him face the oppression of turn-of-the century czarist Russia. Set in 1905, their lives seemed as precarious as ‘a fiddler on the roof.”
In these memorable lines from the movie, Tevye says,
“A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask, why do we stay up here if it’s so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in a word—tradition!
Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many, many years. Here in Anatevka we have traditions for everything—how to eat, how to sleep, how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered and always wear a little prayer shawl. This shows our constant devotion to God. You may ask, how did this tradition start? I’ll tell you—I don’t know! But it’s a tradition. Because of our traditions, everyone knows who he is and what God expects him to do.”
Help, don’t hurt
Because traditions become such an inherent part of us and they are followed and accepted, often without thinking about it, it may be hard to evaluate between their constructive or destructive impact in our lives. They’re simply familiar! We want to help and not hurt ourselves and others, therefore, it’s incumbent upon each of us to find ways to cherish and value positive traditions from our ethnic, cultural, or national heritages. Yet, we must be mindful of those that tear down and destroy self-worth and relationships and find the courage and tenacity to create more positive results instead. This is what truly benefits humanity. After all, isn’t it right that each generation improve and build better, brighter tomorrows as they stand on the shoulders of those who came before them? Usually, that’s what our ancestors would want so that their sacrifices would not have been in vain.
Some traditions that tear down rather than build up individuals and families are:
- Any tradition in which control or dominion is exerted one against another individual or group
- Traditions that breed addiction
- Anything based on the power of force
- Looking down on others due one’s so-called station in life, their ethnicity or feelings of superiority
- Anything that breeds conflict one person or one group against another
- Traditions that lead to prejudice, jealousy, hatred, lack of forgiveness, greed, and so forth
- Traditions that foster harsh words and criticisms, contentions, bickering and sarcasm
In our busy world, some of our positive traditions are part of activities where we can spend meaningful, healthy, uplifting time with our family members.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf puts it nicely when he says, “If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it.” “Let us resolve to cherish those we love by spending meaningful time with them, doing things together and cultivating treasured memories.”
Elevate your traditions
Making a break from the chains of false or destructive traditions can be hard. There can be naysayers and those who criticize or persecute. Some friends or family members may turn away or argue that you’re wrong—possibly causing self-doubts or fears. But, I believe, that deep within us there is an inner knowing of what is ours to do, and if elevating a tradition for ourselves and future generations is part of our life’s mission, then we will find he wherewithal to stay the course.
When the effort to change traditions becomes hard, remember that at birth, your spirit came from the presence of God—as the poet Wordsworth says, “trailing clouds of glory”. So, your ultimate Heritage of Wholeness comes from you being HIS son or HIS daughter. Therefore, the wisest course of action is to remain loyal to traditions that accurately reflect His teachings. Those decisions will bring you true happiness and the greatest inner peace.
After all, we want to find ways to preserve our past without compromising our present. Sometimes that takes a change at the level of tradition, and breaking destructive traditions can seem like you are no longer loyal to the family—which can be extremely painful. Sometimes breaking those patterns can feel like we’re abandoning the family rather than improving the family for the sake of the living as well as those yet to come into your family line. This too, must be seen in the light of truth, or the fear of abandonment can shut you down.
YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker!
As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.
Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families. We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.
Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships. This excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class. Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart.
CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.
References:
[“Fiddler on the Roof,” in Great Musicals of the American Theatre, ed. Stanley Richards, vol. 1 (Radnor, Pennsylvania: Chilton Book Company, 1973), p. 393]
About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton
Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.
