Category Archives: Dysfunction

Create a Bountiful Harvest of Goodness in Your Family

My Yearly Harvest-time Tip:
Create a bountiful harvest of goodness.  Yes, you!

Dieter F, Uchtdorf has said, “Perhaps you don’t consider yourself all that useful; perhaps you don’t consider yourself a blessing in somebody’s life.  Often, when we look at ourselves, we see only our limitations and deficiencies.  We might think we have to be “more” of something for God to use us—more intelligent, more wealthy, more charismatic, more talented, more spiritual.  Blessings will come not so much because of your abilities but because of your choices. And the God of the universe will work within and through you, magnifying your humble efforts for his purposes.  How encouraging it is to know, though we are imperfect, if our hearts are turned to God, He will be generous and kind and use us for His purposes.  No matter your position in your community…, God will use you, if you are wiling.  He will magnify your righteous desires and turn the compassionate actions you sow into a bountiful harvest of goodness.

If you need help getting a grip by discovering or revitalizing your inner sense of self-worth, check out this class training:  Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E.
1) The COMPLETE class is designed for deeply discouraged or highly frustrated men and women who have experienced the disruptive ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction and/or abuse in themselves (as a child or adult), or in their family or family lines.
2) The MINI CLASS zeros in on the basics of elevating thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns.
Check out all my class offerings by CLICKING HERE.

 

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

emotional vitality tip of the day on dark blue background

ReNEW YOU: Every Small Step Matters

ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip:  Every Small Step Matters!

In 2014 on my blog, I noted: “Today I learned through my experience that sometimes when we feel stuck we just haven’t created neural pathways for what we are doing yet. Just forge ahead, the pathways will be created and things will become easier.” – Carolyn Calton

This really is true. I’m so glad to be further and further away from the trauma toxic relationships can create. The power of free choice combined with the power of God and the powers within our bodies to rewire and heal are absolutely amazing.  I’m experiencing it, and I can tell the difference.

To any of my friends who suffer from Post Traumatic Stresss or who have loved ones that suffer, please know that there is so much hope. Just take one step at a time. We may want to rush progress, but just taking one small step in the right direction makes ALL the difference!

Your influence, even through hardship, will ignite the power of generations!  Don’t give up!  There are others who need the example of your courage.  You may never really know the positive ripple effect of each small step you take.  I INcourage you to take one small step in the direction of your dreams today.  May God bless and sustain you as you do.

To your happiness,
Carolyn

Need helpful information and classes, small group support, coaching or more? Check out the services I offer by CLICKING HERE.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

emotional vitality tip of the day on white tile-like background

JOURNALriffic- Things You’ll Love!

There is so much to love about the JOURNALriffic guided method of journaling- especially if you have experienced the ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction or abuse.

As you put the JOURNALriffic Method, called the 4 Steps of Discovery, into action, you’ll form a habit of writing that will help you gain clarity regarding your present circumstances.  You’ll also be better equipped to recognize the next best steps to take as you continue moving forward.  Your habits of self-reflection can help you respond differently to your most upsetting emotional triggers  You may find yourself responding better to conflict, or you might notice less and less negative self-talk.  You may even be developing more patience and be able to see things from another person’s point of view while remaining secure with having and expressing your own point of view.  It becomes exciting to take the proactive stance of strengthening your character by incorporating universal principles.  You may also be thrilled to consistently increase your positive influence for good as you watch the undeniable ripple-effect of your simple choice to take the time to work through any roadblocks.

ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip of the Day

Use JOURNALriffic- Turn Your Pain Into Purpose With 4 Steps of Discovery to help you turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction, to hope, direction, happiness and peace.  Get your copy today!

ReNEW YOU free presentations, class trainings and coaching are available to you, too.

CLICK HERE to see the full range of support that has been prepared with YOU in mind!

*****
Disclosure of Material Connection:  In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the author of JOURNALriffic, and I’m an affiliate of Amazon. I am also the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

emotional vitality tip of the day on seafoam green background

Styles of Journal Writing. Which is Best for You?

The kinds of journals people keep are many and varied.  They include gratitude journals, poetry journals, reading journals, journals written by topic, family journals, nature journals, personal development journals, meditation and devotion journals and more.

There are different styles of journal keeping that range from more traditional writing to writing in creative journals, complete with pictures and art.  Choose any type of blank journal you like.  There is a large selection of journals on the market.  You can also choose blank books or create your own journal from a binder or spiral bound notebook.  If you like art, you can decorate your own cover, but what’s really important is what you write inside.

The JOURNALriffic method of journal-keeping sets itself apart from the rest.  With JOURNALriffic you will have, at your fingertips, a guided-journaling method to use when you want to conserve your emotional energy and settle an issue quickly in your mind. You will be following universal principles that govern happy relationships instead of staying stuck in criticism, blame, shame, stress or anxiety.  Use it when you know that you don’t know what to do next as well as when you want to easily keep a daily record of your life as TODAY’s ChangeMaker—one who desires to elevate your thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns in order to help, and not hurt, yourself and others.

Daily journal writing, the JOURNALriffic way leads to

  • Less stress
    • Healthier relationships
    • Confidence
    • Positive self-development
    • Clarity of your life’s purpose
    • Greater peace of mind

JOURNALriffic guided-journaling is a perfect match for the needs of those who have experienced the ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction or abuse.

There are so many reasons to write in your journal.  What suits your purposes, and which is best for you?

ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip of the Day

Use JOURNALriffic- Turn Your Pain Into Purpose With 4 Steps of Discovery to help you turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction, to hope, direction, happiness and peace.  Get your copy today!

*****
Disclosure of Material Connection:  In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the author of JOURNALriffic, and I’m an affiliate of Amazon.

 

 

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

“Let It Go”

Spiritual Vitality Tip of the Day:  Learn to FORGIVE

“On a cold February night in 2007, a devoted father of four and a seventeen-year-old drunk driver both received life sentences.  In one violent, devastating instant, both faced a drastically different–and uncertain–future.  But as Chris Williams sat in his demolished vehicle, staring at the car that had just caused the death of his wife, his unborn baby, his eleven-year-old son, and his nine-year-old daughter, he committed to do something extraordinary:  he would forgive.”

Let It Go, A True Story of Tragedy and Forgiveness, by Chris Williams, is an amazing book about a healing journey.  If you are seeking healing or are working on forgiving others, this book is for you!  We highly recommend it.

Chris Williams states, “I had no idea who had just hit us, and my mind didn’t think to consider if they were all right or not, or what circumstances might have caused them to cross the median and strike us.  I simply looked at the car in silence.  Then I heard a voice that was not my own in my mind as clearly as if it had come from someone seated next to me.  It was straightforward and filled with power, and the voice said, ‘Let it go!'”

At the end of his book, Chris Williams asks a powerful question, “What burden could you lay at the Lord’s feet, today, that He might be allowed to work miracles in your life?”

Need help learning to think and act with positive intent in spite of the circumstances you encounter?  CLICK HERE to see what’s available to you.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Some links in this post are affiliate links.

The information contained on this website is educational in nature and is provided only as general information. The information presented on this website is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or psychological disorder. The information herein is not a substitute for medical or psychological treatment. Any stories or testimonials presented on this website do not constitute a warranty, guarantee, or prediction regarding outcomes for any particular issue. While all materials and links to other resources are posted in good faith, the accuracy, validity, effectiveness, completeness, or usefulness of any information herein or from an affiliate cannot be guaranteed. The founders of healingyourfamily.com accept no responsibility or liability whatsoever for the use or misuse of information contained on this website. We strongly advise that you seek professional advice, as appropriate, before making any health decision.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton

emotional vitality tip of the day on white tile-like background

Need Emotional Vitality? Use your journal!

ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip of the Day.  Use your journal!

Turning Pain Into Purpose

Whether you grew up in an intact family or were born into a family that feels broken and full of destructive tendencies and influences, I think we can all agree that somewhere, deep inside us, there is a desire to leave our life story better than we found it.  Somehow, each of us wants to know that our life has meaning and purpose and that our personal existence makes a positive difference in the world.

JOURNALriffic guided-journaling is a perfect match for the needs of those who have experienced the ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction or abuse.

Harness the power of journaling using the 4 Steps of Discovery!
Get your copy of JOURNALriffic NOW!

*****
Disclosure of Material Connection: In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the author of JOURNALriffic, and I’m an affiliate of Amazon.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Fighting silhouette of couple fighting and sad teens and child on brown background about disrupted families

Disrupted Families: Divorce, Mistreatment, Abuse

Have your life been touched by the disruptive ripple effects of divorce as a child or adult, or mistreatment, or tremendous loss, addiction or abuse? If not, this information may be useful to a friend or family member that you care about.

Don’t forget the inter-generational influence that your ancestors have had on your parents and on you.  Sometimes learning about family disruption or trauma in generations before you will help you make sense of why things are as they’ve been in your family line.  Learning this information can help build bridges of understanding between the generations.

pink flowering tree on green spot of grass with description about how the mind is a garden

YOU hold within yourself the seeds of change. 
Re-framing your perception can change everything!

Are you forgetting that your ancestor’s stories may hold some answers for you?

Don’t forget the inter-generational influence that your ancestors have had on your parents and on you.  Sometimes learning about family disruption or trauma in generations before you will help you make sense of why things are as they’ve been in your family line.  Learning this information can help build bridges of understanding between the generations.

Start by asking questions of your living relatives. There are also free sites on the Internet where you can begin your search for information about your ancestors that may include access to stories of their lives or links to living relatives that may hold answers to some missing puzzle pieces in your own family history. One such site is Family Search. They encourage you to “find and discover yourself”. Learn where you came from, and get to know who you are.

Understanding their life stories and parts of their own history of facing adversity holds the possibility of creating a new perspective for you.  It can lead to the freedom of forgiveness, release of the past or to shifts in your point of view that can help create healing as you move forward toward living a happier, more peaceful life.

Bearing grudges, holding resentment and other negative feelings in your heart, including hatred, leads to unforgiveness, and unforgiveness is like giving someone else free rent in your head and heart.  You replay this history over and over again.

You don’t need to be close to them or trust them, but letting go of not forgiving them will free your soul to thrive. Not forgiviing only traps you in never-ending cycles of self-inflicted pain.


YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker In Your Disrupted Family!

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.

Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families.  We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships.  This excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class.  Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart. 

CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.

family trees, genealogy, forgiveness, patterns, dysfunction, generational change, generational healing, family, perceptions, beliefs

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Black background, young child with tear from eye, young woman and young man sad beyond belief

Co-dependence: The Walking Wounded, Part 3 

Co-dependency can leave men and women feeling like the walking wounded. John Bradshaw in his book Homecoming, says, “Codependency is to be out of touch with one’s feelings, needs and desires.” It is fostered in unhealthy family systems.  It can go for generations without being understood or noticed. It fosters the loss of self-identity. It is my belief that we can change this destructive tendency in our day and age.

As a refresher, I hope you’ve had a chance to read The Walking Wounded:  Co—dependence, Parts 1 and Part 2 .  Now, let’s look at another sign of unhealthy co-dependence.


ENABLING

Enabling is another sign of an unhealthy co-dependence. Mary-Catherine Segota, a clinical psychologist at Counseling Resource Services in Winter Garden, Florida, describes enabling as a behavior that’s used to ease relationship tension caused by one partner’s problematic habits. Enabling behavior, which is rarely seen in healthy relationships, includes:

  • bailing your partner out
  • repeatedly giving him or her another chance
  • ignoring the problem
  • accepting excuses
  • always being the one trying to fix the problem
  • constantly coming to the rescue

Codependent personalities usually follow a pattern of behaviors that are consistent, problematic, and directly interfere with the individual’s emotional health and ability to find fulfillment in a relationship.”


Need Help Knowing What TO Do Instead of Following Co-dependent Patterns? 

For your understanding, make sure to read The Walking Wounded:  Co—dependence, Parts 1 and Part 2.

Access our Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E online class trainings to view at your own pace. There is a mini-class that helps you elevate your thought, patterns, habit patterns and family patterns (just the basics), and a complete class that takes a deeper dive into tips, tools and information that can help you make sense out of life. We put generational issues and addictive or abusive family patterns, and more, under the microscope for clarity of understanding. If you’re looking for small group support as well as online coaching, so you can put an end to the isolation of feeling alone, JOIN US for our Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles. We’re waiting for YOU!

CLICK HERE to view ALL the free presentations and other current support we have for you.


YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker!

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.

Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families.  We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live beyond
co-dependence.  This excerpt in this blog post has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class.  Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart. 

CLICK HERE to see ALL free presentations and class offerings.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.