Category Archives: Genealogy

Mary and Joseph

Christmas Eve Traditions and Recipes

Each year on Christmas Eve, I’m delighted to share some of the Christmas Eve traditions I’ve experienced with my family in years gone by, as well as a few recipes.

Traditions

In my childhood, there was just me and my mom and dad.  Throughout the season, as well as on Christmas Eve, we would watch Christmas shows and Christmas specials on television.  I especially enjoyed the Musical specials–including Andy Williams–and we loved to Sing Along With Mitch!  When I was around age 11, we began reading the Christmas story from the Bible and I would place the figures of Mary and Joseph, the baby Jesus, and the shepherd in a diorama I had received at church. Always on Christmas Eve, I was able to select one gift from under the tree to be opened that night.  There was a fire in the fireplace, and I remember enjoying the feeling of that special night together.

Many years later, after my marriage and when my children were young and we lived in the Long Beach, Lakewood, Ontario and Palmdale areas of California, we’d go to the home of my in-laws for a celebration.  There were varied main dishes and desserts. Each of their three children and I, along with each grandchild, received a Christmas stocking stuffed to the brim with small surprises–which we all opened that evening.  Many surprises included items from Avon– for which my mother-in-law was a representative.  It is a warm and wonderful memory for us now.

We enjoyed some celebrations with our Murphy side of the family, usually at other times during the season when we were in California.

Later in life, on other Christmas Eves, especially in Arizona while I was raising my children, I simplified.  We always had a little spiritual program Christmas Eve night followed by fun, songs or games when we were at our own home.  We had a traditional dinner of Enchilada Pie (a tradition that began with Grandma Mary Jane Kilgore), tossed green salad with Ranch dressing, tortilla chips, and Uncle Chuck Murphy’s Salsa most years.  Grandma Kilgore’s Lemon Cake drizzled with a lemon glaze usually followed.

A Cherished Memory

I remember the year my mom’s health was rapidly declining, and she was passing away.  Her kidneys were failing and she was experiencing congestive heart failure. Mom also had breast cancer. My youngest daughter, Marissa (age 8), was praying that she would be with us until Christmas.  When she shared with me her sincere desire, expressed in prayer, I said something like, “Oh no, Sweetheart, we need to let her pass when she’s ready.  It’s not good for her to stay with us all that time until Christmas.”  I quickly went to the copy shop, in September of the year 2000, and made paper copies of Christmas songs we could sing around my mom’s bedside.

Shortly thereafter, we sang Christmas carols to her and got to pre-celebrate our last Christmas together with song and with love in our hearts for that gentle, kind, loving, other’s-focused soul whom I was privileged to call my mother.  I know that that was a very holy time for all of us.  Earth and heaven seemed very intertwined.

Gratitude

I’m grateful that Jesus Christ was born, filled His mission on earth, and was resurrected—overcoming both physical and spiritual death and bridging the gap for us between earth and heaven again.  Making it possible for us to also return, as He did, to live with our Heavenly Father once more.  Because of Him, death will have no sting, and I will be able to see my mom, dad and other friends and family again someday.  For me, in Christ, there is both hope and peace.  I am very grateful.

Recipes

Here’s our recipes in case you’d like to try them.

ENCHILADA PIE

Grandma Mary Jane Kilgore’s recipe from Lawry’s.
We used this on Christmas Eve.

Lawry’s Enchilada Sauce Mix packet                                    Ripe olives

1 pound ground beef or ground turkey                              1 can tomato sauce – 8 oz.

1 medium onion, chopped                                                       6 corn tortillas

1 clove garlic, minced                                                                2 cups shredded cheese

2 T. margarine or butter                                                          2/3 cup water

1 tsp. Salt                                                                                      ¼ tsp. pepper

In a saucepan combine Enchilada sauce mix, 1 can (8 oz.), 2 ½  cups water.  Blend well.  Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer, uncovered for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Set aside.

Sauté ground meat, onion and garlic in the margarine or butter.  Stir in Enchilada sauce, olives, salt and pepper.

Butter corn tortillas.  Layer in buttered, round Pyrex casserole dish in this order:

Tortilla
Sauce
Grated cheese

Repeat until the 6 tortillas are used, and pour the remaining sauce over all.

Pour 2/3 cup water at the edge of the casserole into the bottom.

Cover the top with the rest of the cheese. (We use Cheddar cheese)

Bake in a 400 degree oven for 40 minutes.  Serves at least 6.

UNCLE CHUCK MURPHY’S SALSA
We used this on Christmas Eve, too.

1 packet Italian dressing mix                                    1 medium can chopped or sliced olives

1 small can diced green chili                                     3-4 green onions

2 fresh tomatoes, diced                                             cilantro to taste

1 large can diced tomatoes                                       1-2 cups grated Jack cheese

Empty diced tomatoes into a bowl.  Add dry Italian dressing mix, diced green chili (to taste), fresh diced tomatoes, olives, and green onions.  This mixture can sit in the refrigerator at least ½ hour or more to blend flavors.  Add cilantro and grated cheese just before serving.

I also found myself busy make Ham and Egg Souffle (that sets overnight)
to pop in the oven first thing in the morning.

HAM AND EGG SOUFFLE

1 dozen eggs                                                                    2 tsp. Salt

12 slices white bread                                                     3 c. cubed ham

4 c. milk                                                                           3 c. Cheddar cheese

1 ½  tsp. Dry mustard

Beat eggs until fluffy.  Cut crusts from bread: cube.  Place bread in a 9 x 14 inch Pyrex (buttered) dish.  Add 4 cups milk to eggs.  Dissolve l ½  teaspoons dry mustard in a little water and add to egg mixture.  Add salt and chopped ham: mix.  Pour over bread.  Let set overnight.  In the morning, add 3 cups Cheddar cheese as a topping and bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes.

This was started by H. Aileen Calton (my mom) as a traditional Christmas morning breakfast.  Many family members now serve this with a cinnamon roll, orange slice, and orange juice, apple juice and/or hot chocolate with marshmallows.  Place it in the oven while the gifts are being opened and breakfast is ready at just the right time.

Note:  Aileen obtained the recipe when Carolyn was young in a Church Relief Society Visiting Teaching handout which was prepared for delivery to each ward (congregation) member by their Visiting Teachers.

Have a heartwarming and very Merry Christmas!
Carolyn

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Family Traditions. ReNEW YOU Red Healing Heartache In Family Lines Header with URLs

Traditions That Help, Rather Than Hurt, Families

Traditions and personal freedom

Traditions directly link to personal freedom. It would be wise to make choices connected to our traditions, that will help, and not hurt, ourselves and our families.  Freedom from destructive, dead-end generational patterns and beliefs makes room for healthy, productive, life-changing progress.  The way is not always easy, but it IS possible.

A word about tradition

Maybe you remember the movie Fiddler on the Roof.
An online film synopsis states that the movie “tells the life-affirming story of Tevye, a poor milkman [with five daughters] whose love, pride and faith help him face the oppression of turn-of-the century czarist Russia.  Set in 1905, their lives seemed as precarious as ‘a fiddler on the roof.”

In these memorable lines from the movie, Tevye says,

 “A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask, why do we stay up here if it’s so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in a word—tradition!

Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many, many years. Here in Anatevka we have traditions for everything—how to eat, how to sleep, how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered and always wear a little prayer shawl. This shows our constant devotion to God. You may ask, how did this tradition start? I’ll tell you—I don’t know! But it’s a tradition. Because of our traditions, everyone knows who he is and what God expects him to do.”

Help, don’t hurt

Because traditions become such an inherent part of us and they are followed and accepted, often without thinking about it, it may be hard to evaluate between their constructive or destructive impact in our lives.  They’re simply familiar!  We want to help and not hurt ourselves and others, therefore, it’s incumbent upon each of us to find ways to cherish and value positive traditions from our ethnic, cultural, or national heritages.  Yet, we must be mindful of those that tear down and destroy self-worth and relationships and find the courage and tenacity to create more positive results instead. This is what truly benefits humanity.  After all, isn’t it right that each generation improve and build better, brighter tomorrows as they stand on the shoulders of those who came before them?  Usually, that’s what our ancestors would want so that their sacrifices would not have been in vain.

Some traditions that tear down rather than build up individuals and families are:

  • Any tradition in which control or dominion is exerted one against another individual or group
  • Traditions that breed addiction
  • Anything based on the power of force
  • Looking down on others due one’s so-called station in life, their ethnicity or feelings of superiority
  • Anything that breeds conflict one person or one group against another
  • Traditions that lead to prejudice, jealousy, hatred, lack of forgiveness, greed, and so forth
  • Traditions that foster harsh words and criticisms, contentions, bickering and sarcasm

In our busy world, some of our positive traditions are part of activities where we can spend meaningful, healthy, uplifting time with our family members.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf puts it nicely when he says, “If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it.” “Let us resolve to cherish those we love by spending meaningful time with them, doing things together and cultivating treasured memories.”

Elevate your traditions

Making a break from the chains of false or destructive traditions can be hard. There can be naysayers and those who criticize or persecute. Some friends or family members may turn away or argue that you’re wrong—possibly causing self-doubts or fears.  But, I believe, that deep within us there is an inner knowing of what is ours to do, and if elevating a tradition for ourselves and future generations is part of our life’s mission, then we will find he wherewithal to stay the course.

When the effort to change traditions becomes hard, remember that at birth, your spirit came from the presence of God—as the poet Wordsworth says, “trailing clouds of glory”.  So, your ultimate Heritage of Wholeness comes from you being HIS son or HIS daughter. Therefore, the wisest course of action is to remain loyal to traditions that accurately reflect His teachings.  Those decisions will bring you true happiness and the greatest inner peace.

After all, we want to find ways to preserve our past without compromising our present.  Sometimes that takes a change at the level of tradition, and breaking destructive traditions can seem like you are no longer loyal to the family—which can be extremely painful.  Sometimes breaking those patterns can feel like we’re abandoning the family rather than improving the family for the sake of the living as well as those yet to come into your family line. This too, must be seen in the light of truth, or the fear of abandonment can shut you down.

YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker!

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.

Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families.  We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships.  This excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class.  Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart.

CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.

References:
[“Fiddler on the Roof,” in Great Musicals of the American Theatre, ed. Stanley Richards, vol. 1 (Radnor, Pennsylvania: Chilton Book Company, 1973), p. 393]

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Dead-end traditions. ReNEW YOU Healing Heartache green header with picture of a family tree

Family Trees: Inter-generational Patterns and You

Personal and Family freedom:  Heal yourself to heal your Family

Freedom from destructive, dead-end generational patterns and beliefs makes room for healthy, productive, life-changing progress.  The way is not always easy, but it IS possible.

Especially at holiday time where traditions take center stage:

Do know that family patterns and belief systems are at work influencing your life today?

How is that so?

Why does it matter?

Parents influence our habits, skills, values, language, mannerisms, the way we treat others and more. Our ancestors have passed down their own perceptions about life, love and happiness (among a myriad of other things) to their children for many generations.  Whether we know it or not, we are influenced by their ways of thinking, behaving and believing.

How Your Inter-generational Family Influences Your Life Today

It’s important to recognize that we all have perceptions in our present day that have largely been influenced by our inter-generational family. These include perceptions about people, relationships, education, service, religion, devotions to family, devotion to country, and so forth. These perceptions are like seeds that grow into our family patterns and belief systems.

In her book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, Karol Truman said, “The perceptions that created our beliefs, and the degree to which they were validated, soon determined the PATTERN, or the road map, which we have followed throughout our life.”

Why It Matters

Your own perceptions of life, love and happiness then influence every daily choice you make.  Like smooth stones cast into a perfectly still lake, your choices, both positive and negative, influence many generations after you through their ripple effect. What happens in your home then extends to society and impacts society and the world, therefore, it is imperative that you pay attention to what happens in your home.

I once penned this little verse:
Secure the home, secure society.
Stabilize the home, stabilize society.
Don’t let chaos reign supreme.
~Carolyn Calton

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.

Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families.  We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships.  This blog post excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class.  Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart.

CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Create a Bountiful Harvest of Goodness in Your Family

My Yearly Harvest-time Tip:
Create a bountiful harvest of goodness.  Yes, you!

Dieter F, Uchtdorf has said, “Perhaps you don’t consider yourself all that useful; perhaps you don’t consider yourself a blessing in somebody’s life.  Often, when we look at ourselves, we see only our limitations and deficiencies.  We might think we have to be “more” of something for God to use us—more intelligent, more wealthy, more charismatic, more talented, more spiritual.  Blessings will come not so much because of your abilities but because of your choices. And the God of the universe will work within and through you, magnifying your humble efforts for his purposes.  How encouraging it is to know, though we are imperfect, if our hearts are turned to God, He will be generous and kind and use us for His purposes.  No matter your position in your community…, God will use you, if you are wiling.  He will magnify your righteous desires and turn the compassionate actions you sow into a bountiful harvest of goodness.

If you need help getting a grip by discovering or revitalizing your inner sense of self-worth, check out this class training:  Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E.
1) The COMPLETE class is designed for deeply discouraged or highly frustrated men and women who have experienced the disruptive ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction and/or abuse in themselves (as a child or adult), or in their family or family lines.
2) The MINI CLASS zeros in on the basics of elevating thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns.
Check out all my class offerings by CLICKING HERE.

 

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

I Owe All Things to God

My mother, now deceased, is precious to me and very dear to my heart.  Her maiden name was Greenhalgh.

While reading the personal history of one of my relatives, I remembered what was written in Latin on the Greenhalgh Family Coat of arms.

“I owe all things to God.”

Thankfully, that is something my mother taught me to see and recognize and appreciate throughout my life.

I have learned through my own experience that I do–owe all things to God, that is.  His grace, mercy and guidance have sustained me.  It’s because of Him that I can even draw my breath each day.  It’s because of Him I have eyes to see, ears to hear, and so much more. The inscription on that coat of arms fills me with joy because I sense the truth of the statment.  It helps me know I am anchored to ancestors that appreciated the goodness of God, and it inspires me to want to know more about their personal stories of trials an triumph.

Do you have an inscription on a Family Coat of Arms or a statement of purpose for your family now?

Today’s Spiritual Vitality Tip:  Take time to ponder how YOU owe all things to God.  Write your thoughts in your journal, or share your thoughts with a loved one.

*****
Need help healing heartache in yourself, your family or family lines?  CLICK HERE.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

emotional vitality tip of the day on white tile-like background

Need Emotional Vitality? Use your journal!

ReNEW YOU Emotional Vitality Tip of the Day.  Use your journal!

Turning Pain Into Purpose

Whether you grew up in an intact family or were born into a family that feels broken and full of destructive tendencies and influences, I think we can all agree that somewhere, deep inside us, there is a desire to leave our life story better than we found it.  Somehow, each of us wants to know that our life has meaning and purpose and that our personal existence makes a positive difference in the world.

JOURNALriffic guided-journaling is a perfect match for the needs of those who have experienced the ripple effects of divorce, mistreatment, addiction or abuse.

Harness the power of journaling using the 4 Steps of Discovery!
Get your copy of JOURNALriffic NOW!

*****
Disclosure of Material Connection: In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the author of JOURNALriffic, and I’m an affiliate of Amazon.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Fighting silhouette of couple fighting and sad teens and child on brown background about disrupted families

Disrupted Families: Divorce, Mistreatment, Abuse

Have your life been touched by the disruptive ripple effects of divorce as a child or adult, or mistreatment, or tremendous loss, addiction or abuse? If not, this information may be useful to a friend or family member that you care about.

Don’t forget the inter-generational influence that your ancestors have had on your parents and on you.  Sometimes learning about family disruption or trauma in generations before you will help you make sense of why things are as they’ve been in your family line.  Learning this information can help build bridges of understanding between the generations.

pink flowering tree on green spot of grass with description about how the mind is a garden

YOU hold within yourself the seeds of change. 
Re-framing your perception can change everything!

Are you forgetting that your ancestor’s stories may hold some answers for you?

Don’t forget the inter-generational influence that your ancestors have had on your parents and on you.  Sometimes learning about family disruption or trauma in generations before you will help you make sense of why things are as they’ve been in your family line.  Learning this information can help build bridges of understanding between the generations.

Start by asking questions of your living relatives. There are also free sites on the Internet where you can begin your search for information about your ancestors that may include access to stories of their lives or links to living relatives that may hold answers to some missing puzzle pieces in your own family history. One such site is Family Search. They encourage you to “find and discover yourself”. Learn where you came from, and get to know who you are.

Understanding their life stories and parts of their own history of facing adversity holds the possibility of creating a new perspective for you.  It can lead to the freedom of forgiveness, release of the past or to shifts in your point of view that can help create healing as you move forward toward living a happier, more peaceful life.

Bearing grudges, holding resentment and other negative feelings in your heart, including hatred, leads to unforgiveness, and unforgiveness is like giving someone else free rent in your head and heart.  You replay this history over and over again.

You don’t need to be close to them or trust them, but letting go of not forgiving them will free your soul to thrive. Not forgiviing only traps you in never-ending cycles of self-inflicted pain.


YOU are TODAY’s ChangeMaker In Your Disrupted Family!

As TODAY’s ChangeMakers in our family lines, we are here to create positive change in spite of any disruptions or destructive patterns in our families of origin or in spite of what may be occurring in our family now.

Each of us can ignite the light of extraordinary family purpose in ourselves and our families.  We do it by igniting the light of our own personal power to influence others for good through making principle-centered choices, in order to secure the home and stabilize society.

Check out these class offerings that can help you strengthen your ability to live according to the principles that govern happiness in yourself and in your relationships.  This excerpt has been taken from the Revitalize Your Inner Worth: Get Out of the S.L.U.D.G.E. Class.  Break free and rise above destructive thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns, so YOU can fill your highest priorities with full purpose of heart. 

CLICK HERE to see all free presentations and class offerings.

family trees, genealogy, forgiveness, patterns, dysfunction, generational change, generational healing, family, perceptions, beliefs

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com. As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

Life’s Journey Prompts-What’s Your Story?

In my opinion, there’s nothing better than journal prompts to use while recording one’s personal history.  An overwhelming task, broken down into bite-sized chunks, becomes totally manageable.

This year I am participating in the #52Stories Project from FamilySearch.org. in order to become a positive INfluence on my family’s inter-generational narrative. Will you join me?

Follow a weekly prompt to write down just one story every week for a year.  By the end of a year, you will be 52 steps and 52 stories closer to having written your personal history.

Don’t worry about missing some prompts.  Start wherever you are.

I use Personal Historian 2 Software to record and organize my personal history by topic as well as my daily journal entries.

Challenge:  Write down the details of your life to “define the dash” that exists between your birth date and death date.

Here are the #52Stories life journey prompts for January through March:

January Theme: Goals and Achievements.  Click here for questions to answer for January.

February Theme: Love and Friendship.  Click here for questions to answer for February.

March Theme: Occupations and Hobbies.  Click here for questions to answer for March.

As you write your Life’s Journey experiences  as TODAY’s ChangeMaker™

  • It will help you see and evaluate your own life more clearly.
  • It will provide INcouragement and awareness for your loved ones who come after you.
  • Family members, including your posterity, will be able to become acquainted with who you really are, not just with who you seem to be, because your thoughts and feelings will be accurate since they come straight from you
  • Some of your loved ones may be able to avoid some pitfalls because of the lessons you’ve learned and passed to them through your written words and through your experiences.
  • You are helping to light the path and lead the way for them to follow, as you gain and maintain physical, emotional and spiritual security for yourself in this topsy-turvy world.

Do not be afraid of your imperfections.  You are not your history.  You may be the catalyst for positive change your family line is waiting for.

Heal the heartbreak of dysfunction and stress in yourself and your family line.
End the isolation of feeling alone in your journey to create positive change with these helpful classes, coaching and small group connections.
Check out our ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles.

Personal History Tool Tips for Spring and Summer:

Flip-Pal™ mobile scanner –  Portable, easy flip-and-scan-technology.  You can even scan pictures in the frame or while they remain in their photo albums!  I sit on the sofa in comfort and scan to my hearts delight.  My grandson’s love to help.  This is a great summer project that connects the whole family to their positive memories.

Legacy Family Tree Softwareis the software I use to easily preserve my genealogical information.  It is important to have a software on your computer for your records.  Don’t rely on online record-keeping alone.

Family ChartMastersCreate a beautiful, Family Tree Chart for your home to strengthen your posterity. Remember your roots and also your one-and-only, unique and vital place on your family tree.

JOURNALriffic– Use the journaling method—the 4 Steps of Discovery—in the ebook I authored.  It was written specifically for TODAY’s ChangeMakers like you. It will you how to put an end to negative thinking and destructive tendencies in yourself or your family line in order to enjoy more peace-of-mind and happiness.

*****

Note:  TODAY’s ChangeMakers™ are sincere, determined men and women who do not give up on creating positive change—in spite of obstacles.  If you haven’t already done so, I invite you to officially JOIN THE QUEST at Family Tree Quest.com.
*****
Disclosure of Material Connection: In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the owner or a compensated affiliate of the hyperlinked companies, websites, ebooks, classes and membership circles mentioned in this post.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

What’s Your Story- Life’s Journey Prompt #1

This year I am participating in the #52Stories Project from FamilySearch.org. in order to become a positive INfluence on my family’s inter-generational narrative. Will you join me?

The idea is to follow a weekly prompt to write down just one story every week for a year.  By the end of the year, you will be 52 steps and 52 stories closer to having written your personal history.

I use Personal Historian 2 Software to record and organize my personal history by topic as well as my journal entries.

Challenge:  Write down the details of your life to “define the dash” that exists between your birth date and death date.

This week’s #52Stories life journey prompt is:

Why write down your experiences?

Your experiences as TODAY’s ChangeMaker™ are of great worthBe sure to write them down.

Ordinary events help people know who you really are from the INside out and how you think and operate in the world.  Happy times uplift us. Many of us have come through or are coming through some real rough patches along the way, too. The steps you take and courage you muster to do the almost-impossible has value for those who may follow in your footsteps as they traverse their own path in life.  Never underestimate the value of lessons learned through experiencing difficulty, adversity and personal trials.  Also, sharing happy times brings hope to others when they see that there’s more to life than drudging through it.

Through writing down your life experiences and observations, it may become crystal clear to you and others how an individual can become their best, most happy and capable selves.  You may learn what personal character traits contribute to strong, safe, secure family relationships, and in contract, you can see what detracts from and destroys them.  This knowledge can help you develop a healthy concern about contributing positively to the future of your family line.  It can become a major driver for living a purpose-filled life.  It can help bring direction to the course of life. You may be able to see thought patterns, habit patterns and family patterns through writing things down that help you see what helps you stay strong and, on the other hand, you will be better positioned to identify what is destructive so you can take steps to help change it.

Ready, Set, GROW!

Heal the heartbreak of dysfunction and stress in yourself and your family line.
End the isolation of feeling alone in your journey to create positive change with these helpful classes, coaching and small group connections.
Check out our ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles.

Personal History Tool Tip of the Week
JOURNALriffic– Use the journaling method—the 4 Steps of Discovery—in the ebook I authored.  It was written specifically for TODAY’s ChangeMakers like you. It will you how to put an end to negative thinking and destructive tendencies in yourself or your family line in order to enjoy more peace-of-mind and happiness.

*****
Note:  TODAY’s ChangeMakers™ are sincere, determined men and women who do not give up on creating positive change—in spite of obstacles.  If you haven’t already done so, I invite you to officially JOIN THE QUEST at Family Tree Quest.com.

*****
Disclosure of Material Connection: In accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” I am disclosing that I am the owner or a compensated affiliate of the hyperlinked companies, websites, ebooks, classes and membership circles mentioned in this post.

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.

God did hear our cries and answer our prayers.

Vector background with grass

TIP:  Learn from the faith-promoting experiences of others–especially from those who are a member of your own family line.

I was reading this morning about a people who were living a fairly ordinary life, and then they were attacked. (Interesting how life sometimes goes when all is going well, and we are slow to remember the Lord.) These people remembered that they could be delivered “out of the hands of their enemies” because of THIS. They said, “for we were awakened to a remembrance of the deliverance of our fathers. And God did hear our cries and did answer our prayers; and we did go forth in his might.”*

Even though these people lived thousands of years ago, the records they kept and the stories passed down from their forefathers helped them awaken to the source of strength and INsight and deliverance from their enemies that could help them beyond their own capacity.  How many of us, when times get tough, remember something we may have forgotten about the strength, fortitude, resilience amid great obstacles or trials, that a family member of our own went through and rose above.  There are countless stories of faith and fortitude waiting to be discovered within our own family history.

Last night I was watching the show 17 Miracles. Among my heritage are many Mormon Pioneers.  The particular company of pioneers depicted in this movie left for their destination late in the season, and they endured hardships beyond comprehension.  They were all just mortal men, women and children who were trying to do the best they could for their families.  They faced extreme and severe circumstances with hunger, fatigue, death, deprivation, equipment failure, and so much more that called for extraordinary faith and endurance.  Amidst it all, there were miracles.

During a time of extreme hunger, one woman obtained beef jerky in a miraculous way.  She returned to the camp and shared with her children and others.  No doubt this saved lives.  At the end of the show, it tells of how one of her family members did not believe this story–even though she had sacrificed so much and endured much hardship. Later, thankfully, someone else from the company mentioned it in the presence of the one who did not believe it.

After watching the show, it seemed so sad to me that her own family member wouldn’t understand or believe which must have been life-saving and such a blessing to her. I think many faithful parents in today’s world may somehow relate to this–even though our times and unique challenges are very different.   In my own way, I identify with the feeling of sacrificing your all for the sake of your family members, only to be often misunderstood or criticized for the very thing that kept you and them alive–physically, emotionally or spiritually.

It was encouraging to remember that the awareness of the value of our faith in God and fortitude amid trials and obstacles may even jump a generation or two before being rediscovered, yet our sacrifices are not lost.  It may be the very thing that helps one of our posterity to be strong and encouraged amidst their own trials with faith, family, friends or circumstances.

Whose story in your family line is waiting to be known or rediscovered?

Gordon B Hinckley shared this account of the rescue of those spoken of in the movie 17 Miracles.

“It was in … desperate and terrible circumstances—hungry, exhausted, their clothes thin and ragged—that [the handcart companies] were found by the rescue party. As the rescuers appeared on the western horizon breaking a trail through the snow, they seemed as angels of mercy. And indeed they were. The beleaguered emigrants shouted for joy, some of them. Others, too weak to shout, simply wept and wept and wept.

“There was now food to eat and some warmer clothing. But the suffering was not over, nor would it ever end in mortality. Limbs had been frozen, and the gangrenous flesh sloughed off from the bones.

“The carts were abandoned, and the survivors were crowded into the wagons of the rescuers. The long rough journey of three hundred, four hundred, even five hundred miles between them and this valley was especially slow and tedious because of the storms. On November 30, 104 wagons, loaded with suffering human cargo, came into the Salt Lake Valley. Word of their expected arrival had preceded them. It was Sunday, and again the Saints were gathered in the Tabernacle. Brigham Young stood before the congregation and said:

“‘As soon as this meeting is dismissed I want the brethren and sisters to repair to their homes. …

“‘The afternoon meeting will be omitted, for I wish the sisters to … prepare to give those who have just arrived a mouthful of something to eat, and to wash them and nurse them. …

“‘Some you will find with their feet frozen to their ankles; some are frozen to their knees and some have their hands frosted … ; we want you to receive them as your own children, and to have the same feeling for them’ (quoted in Hafen, Handcarts to Zion, p. 139)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 76–77; or Ensign, Nov. 1991, 54).

Francis Webster, a member of the Martin Handcart Company said, “Mistake to send the Handcart Company out so late in the season? Yes! But I was in that company and my wife was in it….We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Every one of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with Him in our extremities!”

In 1996, Gordon B. Hinckley, referring to the suffering of the Martin and Willie handcart companies,  said:

“I am grateful that those days of pioneering are behind us. I am thankful that we do not have brethren and sisters stranded in the snow, freezing and dying… But there are people, not a few, whose circumstances are desperate and who cry out for help and relief.

“There are so many who are hungry and destitute across this world who need help. … Ours is a great and solemn duty to reach out and help them, to lift them, to feed them if they are hungry, to nurture their spirits if they thirst for truth and righteousness.

“There are so many young people who wander aimlessly and walk the tragic trail of drugs, gangs, immorality, and the whole brood of ills that accompany these things. There are widows who long for friendly voices and that spirit of anxious concern which speaks of love. There are those who were once warm in the faith, but whose faith has grown cold. Many of them wish to come back but do not know quite how to do it. They need friendly hands reaching out to them. With a little effort, many of them can be brought back to feast again at the table of the Lord.

“… I would hope, I would pray that each of us … would resolve to seek those who need help, who are in desperate and difficult circumstances, and lift them in the spirit of love … (in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 118; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 86).

INspired Action Steps:  It’s now your turn on earth.  Who will you lift and serve?  What will be your story of faithful obedience to God?  There are those in your family line who follow you.  Rejoice that we live in a day of opportunity.  Rejoice that we have the opportunity to choose living a life with faith in Christ being fully planted in our hearts.  There are and will always be miracles.  I INcourage you to faithfully use your INfluence for good, and, in doing so, you will see the hand of God unfold in your life and in the lives of others in unlimited miraculous ways.

If you’d like to comment, please visit my Family Tree Gal Facebook Page and comment under the reference to this post there.

**********
* Mosiah 9: 14-19
**********
Notice of material connection:  I am an affiliate of Amazon.com

About Family Tree Gal, Carolyn Calton Carolyn Calton

Serving people who have hidden heartaches and unresolved personal struggles, Carolyn Calton is the founder of FamilyTreeQuest.com and HealingYourFamily.com.

As a ReNEW YOU Self Worth and Relationship Revitalization educator and coach, Carolyn teaches individuals and families how to turn from heartache to happiness in themselves, their families and family lines by understanding how to live true to who they really are as TODAY’s ChangeMakers. Those who join her ReNEW YOU Classes and Joyful Breakthrough Membership Circles learn how to turn stress, anxious-thinking, anger and dysfunction to hope, direction, happiness and peace. She is a teacher and facilitator of principles that can set the hearts of men and women free from the pain and chains of guilt, toxic shame and the effects of oppression. Her students are then empowered to walk forward with courage and confidence as they fill their highest priorities with stability and full purpose of heart.